Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Springtime Thunderstorms


It's getting ready to storm, I guess. There has been talk about tornadoes and large hail all day, but we haven't seen anything yet. I'm a bit excited because I love love love storms. I also hate them because they make me nervous, but they sure are beautiful.

I'm sitting on the couch in my parents' living room right now with Ellie asleep next to my leg, and Bunker next to her. They are quite adorable, and I love them both.

There really isn't a whole lot to say today, but I felt like I should write something anyways. Tomorrow Luke and I are going to play an acoustic old timey set at the local retirement home. My Grandma Connie lives there now since Papa Charles passed. I'm so glad she's there now. She's starting to get used to it, but she still wants to go home. She can't live on her own anymore, though, so she has to stay put. It's kind of sad.

Mom and dad took me to Grandma and Papa's house the other day to just look around, and I don't even really know. It was weird. It was a really strange feeling walking inside, and smelling the same smells, and seeing the same sights, but knowing they weren't there. And they wouldn't be there anymore. I went out in their backyard, but it was kind of overgrown, and not how Papa would have it at all. It made me sad. It made me miss him so much. It just isn't the same anymore.

A while back, Luke and I recorded us playing Crazy by Patsy Cline to use when we book shows at assisted living facilities. It's one of my favorite songs, and it's a song that I used to listen to frequently with Grandma and Papa when I would spend time at their house on weekends. It's still kind of tough to make it through that song during our sets because it makes me think of them so easily. So we decided to film a music video for it, and dedicate it to Papa's memory. We filmed some footage at their house, and I think it will turn out really lovely. Maybe it will make things easier for me to get my emotions out in a creative form. I don't know. I hope so. I just cry at really random times, it seems. The fountain at the Independence Park was fixed up recently, and I cried when I saw the pictures, and I cried while listening to Johnny Cash sing old hymns. This is hard. But I know he's still with me. I still carry the lessons he taught me in my heart, and I have the best memories. k

Anyway, enough being sad for one post. I've been playing my piano so much lately, and I LOVE IT. It is the biggest stress relief I have, and I've been practicing and getting better and better. I was pretty rusty for awhile because I don't have a full sized piano anymore, and it is super annoying setting up my midi controller to play my more difficult songs that require more keys. So I've been really happy having my old, out of tune, beautiful piano to play again. I want to be as good as I used to be again. I used to be able to just bust out some songs wherever I was, but now I have to sit and think about what I even know anymore haha. It's so dumb. But, whatever. It is coming together again.

Well, that's enough for one night. <3 p="">-T

Friday, January 29, 2016


I spent the day sunbathing by the pool of a mansion in Bakersfield, California. I read a few chapters of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, and drank Cherry Coke. It was a really lovely afternoon. I even have tan lines!

Let me back up. Why am I at a mansion in Bakersfield, California? Well, I'm on tour with Of Course Not, and have been on the road for about 3 weeks now. We've been in California for the past week, and it has been insanely awesome. We met the lady that lives here in Bakersfield two and a half years ago when we toured through with Foreverlin. She's such a nice lady, and takes really good care of us. We love visiting.

Anyway, in the past three weeks we've seen snow, ice, flat land, hills, mountains, desert, ocean, and 70 degree weather. I've been wearing shorts for the past week. It has been amazing.

I really miss Ellie, though. She's been staying with my parents this month. She's been having a great time, but I miss her dearly. I feel so bad leaving her there, but she really hates being on the road. She doesn't like car rides, and her mutt muffs don't fit super well. She's better off with them. Plus, she loves it, and she loves Bunker, and she loves all of the attention she gets. She's spoiled. Haha.

I also got the news today that the doctors are stopping grandpa's treatments. They basically just want him to be comfortable, and that he has about six months. It is sad. I'm sad. I don't know how to handle it. I had been preparing for this news because I knew it was bound to happen. I mean, he has cancer. Obviously, we would get this news. It still just hits hard, and it makes it worse not being around. I'm still about a week and a half from home, and I'll only be there for 4 days when we get back. It's like I'm fighting time, too. It's just hard. I know he and grandma want me to be following my dreams, and doing what makes me happy, but I still feel guilty not being around. I barely got to see them the last time I was home because we were wedding planning, and then honeymooning, and then it was Christmas. They didn't even come to my wedding, and grandma totally forgot that it even happened. So that sucked. I just don't even know. I am just really upset that this is happening. Grandpa was like a second dad. We spent so much time with him growing up. He took us hiking, and to the park, and the zoo. He taught me about all of the animals that lived at the zoo, and about nature. It's where I learned how to love all of the animals. He'd tell us stories on the porch swing, and we'd make up songs, and play games. We'd have a fish fry almost weekly during the summer, and stay up late watching movies, and eating ice cream. Then we'd wake up early and walk to the corner store to get a newspaper, and some gum or Spree. Man, we had some good times. It's what I will always hold on to. He and grandma gave me a couple of rings that he gave her years and years ago. I love them so much. I'm so glad they did. I guess I'm just going to try to spend as much time with them as I can, and what happens happens.

I'm going to continue watching Modern Family now. Later.